Musings of a Lonely Writer! ----- Characters with Mental Illnesses or Perceived Mental Illnesses!

It has been a while since I’ve done a Musings of a Lonely Writer segment post and I’ve missed it but I’ve been forced to put it off for a while as I’ve been a tad busy and really had to think of a topic I found interesting enough to discuss as well. But I am so glad to be back and adding this topic to my Musings of a Lonely Writer segments.

So since I write mostly Young Adult Novels I’ve begun to wonder about this as when I’ve been looking at novels lately I’ve found quite a few with this similar theme, characters with mental illnesses or perceived mental illnesses and locked up in mental hospitals. I think if used appropriately it can give depth, challenges, anxieties and difficulties to a character just as nearly 1 in 5 real life Americans alone each year suffer from a mental illness but I find many of the stories aren’t like that but rather the character is locked away in as some say in the novels a loony bin, whack shack, or other derogatory term and they aren’t crazy but are there for some insane reason which really seems a way to just get the character where the authors wants them so the character can uncover some deep dark secret or conspiracy and get to the adventure of solving the issue.

I mean there was a story I contemplated writing that had three different possibilities of where the character is, either a mental hospital, living the life of a ballerina who looses her senses and leaves the ballet to live on an old farm or is whisked away to an alien planet and the same man is in all possibilities and she falls asleep in one only to awaken in one of the other three with no clue as to which is true and I leave the readers questioning her sanity and sometimes their own, or rather I was going to if I ever write the story, lol.

So you see even I’ve played with the idea of mental illness or perceived mental illness but stories now seem like they are trying to make the character have a perceived illness to make them interesting but the character falls flat as they are just too perfect and it’s the whole worlds conspiring against them kind of thing which I don’t really like. I would rather a character straight up have an illness even a little bit or make it more interesting as to why they are locked away not just because some insane government agency or person wants the main character gone as they are the key to saving the world or something.

So I am hoping that the perfectly perfect character locked in a mental hospital thing isn’t the next fade in YA literature unless it’s handled in a way that makes it different and unique but I’ve yet to really see that.

This has been Musings of a Lonely Writer! If you have any thoughts on this topic please leave a comment in the comment section of this post! Keep Reading, Keep Writing, and Keep Inspiring!

Edit November 5, 2016:

So fellow blogger Jasmin Weaver left a comment on this blog post and I replied but thought some of what I added should go under this edit so I better explain my views on this topic.

I try not to handle such weighty and complex subjects as mental illness unless I’m willing to put in the time and effort into doing plenty of research and interviewing professionals, ect. In a rare case I have had a character that slowly drove herself to insanity as did her mother through a serious of events but I never really tackled it straight on but rather from the sidelines kind of thing.

I don’t think every author tackles mental illness the same way as I have seen some that have handled weighty subjects as mental illness, sexual assault, murder, and suicide in as proper a way as one can with such subjects. But then there are authors that have romanticized it too much and made it only a perceived illness so as to not really get into it and handle it as a proper illness or disorder and to show it’s ok to have an illness, well its not what anyone is supposed to ever have but because of inherited imperfection people have such illness for the present time but not in the future, but show a person can live a fulfilling healthy life even with a mental illness or disorder.

I’ve seen two instances where it was handled oddly to me. First one the character was locked away in some big bad mental hospital but through some handsome orderly or something she finds out she’s a Princess from a different realm and isn’t crazy. Which I think romanticized it and didn’t handle illnesses in such a great way. The second story showed people locked away all willy-nilly for not choosing the right group of people to be with, a weird reason to lock people up in mental hospitals for.

I think mental illness and hospitals that house mentally ill individuals would be interesting but not to just entertain or to say someone needs an illness to be interesting or anything but rather to tackle a real issue but in a unique but honest way but I haven’t found a YA novel that does so fully but maybe just not fully to my satisfaction but I need to realize I can’t get my way when it comes to other peoples stories but I can only have a strong opinion, lol!

The blogger mentioned Shakespeare’s ‘King Lear’ or ‘Hamlet’ but I only read what was required Shakespeare reading in school so I never read those but I have heard of them and how those characters were.

What I find interesting is ‘A Tell-Tale Heart’ by Eagar Allen Poe which basically I like the narrator trying to convince everyone of his sanity but all the while his murderous activities were anything but sane. In those kinds of gothic literature novels of that era and later very much had a lot to do with insanity and manipulation into insanity which really was handled in a creepy but interesting way in my opinion.

The blogger Jasmin Weaver mentioned gaslighting and yes I have heard of the term gaslighting and even seen the 1944 movie which I was just talking about the other day, lol! I saw the movie some years ago and I found it to be really interesting how that was played out and how the phrase came to be and what it means. I even have a soon-to-be-written story called ‘The Gas Light Murders’ set in 1890’s London or I’m thinking of moving it to America but same era and my character is hearing about a rash of murders and as the investigation lands on her husband her sanity is called into question as little things and then big things begin to point to her as the murderer and she fears what she’ll do and worries for her sons life but as the story will unfold the lead detective begins to figure things out after basically being a victim of gaslighting and the reader figures out my main female lead has also been a victim of gaslighting by the real murderer who is closer to her home then she thought. The title of the story has to do with that phrase gaslighting but also the murderer leaves notes on gas lamps within the city to lead the detectives to his crimes and as a way to mock them as well.

So anyway I agreed with her that gaslighting would be an interesting take on mental illness but also psychological abuse.

If I have any further thoughts I’ll come back and edit again! If anyone has any thoughts on this post, edit, or comments again leave a comment in the comment section of this post!

Edit November 12, 2016:

 

The Gas Light Murders novel details have changed as I no longer want a murder mystery but am going with a different type of mystery so I won’t be incorporating murder or the gaslighting phrase in that novel now, so just wanted to say so, lol!

 

If I have any further thoughts I’ll come back and edit again! If anyone has any thoughts on this post, edit, or comments again leave a comment in the comment section of this post!

Musings of a Lonely Writer! ----- Appearance vs. Personality!

So on this Musings of a Lonely Writer post I am going to discuss the feeling behind a characters physical appearance vs. their personality. I am going to discuss whether a reader wants a beautiful character or a much more normal character or if it even matters. Could perhaps the personality matter more. Or is it a combination of both.

Okay so when I read a novel I read about so many types of characters but I always get the impression that the character is always perfectly perfect in some aspect, either he or she is handsome or beautiful in some way or they are gifted a perfect personality. In real life that is not always the case. But as I’ve said before the rules and aspects of real life and that of the worlds of books aren’t necessarily the same and don’t have to be.

In my writing I have discovered lately that my characters are these ethereal beautiful characters and sometimes that starts to bother me as I want to have a real character who struggles with not only physical but personality limitations. I mean I love characters that are so different then me and are everything I am not but I also want characters that are similar to real people, myself included.

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So I have started writing a story called, “Death of the Heart Song” and my main character has an undesirable first name, Misery, and her physical traits and personality traits are lacking any sort of beauty or desirableness. She is often rude and crude and says what is on her mind and she doesn’t care who you are when she speaks her mind. She lives in a Kingdom that has beautiful musically inclined people and she has no musical abilities and is classified as ugly in her Kingdom. So later she butts heads with the Prince and becomes quite a distraction to him and she has no clue why.

Their relationship as trainer and teacher and as friends and would be lovers (they are about the same age, he has just turned 16 years old and she is about to turn 18 years old) is a fun one to explore and write about but their relationship is not the main part of the story. The Heart Song element is the main part but I won’t get into that long story. The reason I write this at all is to show I have now made a character that is classified as unattractive and I wonder how she would be perceived by a reader. Would her physical lack of beauty or her personality make a reader love or hate her more or would it be a combination of both or would neither matter all that much.

Also I want to point out I didn’t make her unattractive just for the sake of saying to myself or others that I now have an ugly character. She was undesirable and had flaws as she presented herself to me in a dream and I found it fresh and exciting to see a character that is different then most characters I have written about or read about before.

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I wonder if young and old readers alike care more about the physical appearance of a character or the personality or does it matter at all. But I guess it probably varies by each person and by each story and how the author wants to present the said character and how the reader perceives said character.

Also do you think that authors present too perfectly perfect characters or just the right amount of perfect and flawed? I asked my mom and she said she doesn’t think that there are too many perfectly perfect characters. She also said that sometimes attractive traits, like in a romance novel, are sometimes a plus or needed but in other stories it really doesn’t matter.

So in books I wonder if the characters physical or personality traits even matter. I mean they matter a little bit. But I find a book with a much more normal flawed character in many ways is interesting and gives me more in-depth insight into that character and their world or story.

But the writer in me still finds beautiful glorious characters to be fun and intriguing. Personally I still think though that personality means more. My characters are so different personality wise but they are so interesting and funny or sassy or fiery or sweet or crude or bold or brave, ect. I think that what they say and how they say it is much more important and how they react to the good, bad, and ugly themes in their stories brings me closer to them then what they look like.

So beautiful or not or great personality or not I think how they handle themselves and what their story is and how they live it is much more important. And though looks and a good personality often matter I think how they handle themselves makes or breaks a character and makes the reader love or hate or love to hate the character. If an author can get characters to surpass ones ideas about what makes an ideal character then it impresses me and leaves a lasting impression on this lonely reader and makes me want to make the lonely writer in me push the boundaries of my character layouts.

Care to weigh in? Then please leave a comment in the comment section of this post!

Keep Writing! Keep Reading! And Keep Inspiring!

Musings of a Lonely Writer! -----Insta Love or Insta Don’t?

I don’t know if I’ve gone over this topic before, I thought I had but I couldn’t find any posts for it so maybe I didn’t. Of course if I did my apologies for repeating myself. Also this may dip into a Musings of a Lonely Reader Post a bit so bear with me.

So I am a tad tired of reading a novel, mostly YA Novels, sorry to YA novel writers as I write them myself but the theme of Insta Love is a tad annoying and over done. I mean to have two characters meet and the sparks fly instantly and be like I will die for you five minutes after meeting is a tad much. Though often entertaining and it brings a dangerous adventure to the story it brings nothing to the real belief of a relationship. Though as I’ve said before in other posts readers, me included, want to escape reality for a couple of hours, so the regular rules don’t apply but I often wish that they did, even just a tiny bit.

So I could buy the Insta Love at first sight if it was maybe presented differently. Like I could buy the I love you even though I just met you if I was given more in-depth love building later. Often times we as readers are supposed to buy the I love you and that’s it. I want to know how they would progress, do they butt heads and are fiery lovers or are they sweet every day is sunshine and bunnies kind of lovers. I want to know how they progress and learn about each other. What did they come to know and like or love about each other? I hate the he’s hot / she’s hot and they kiss two seconds later. Why do they love each other, beyond the physical attributes? I want more for goodness sakes! :~)

I’ve had Insta Attraction in my novels and that has grown into something more and then finally love but I have never had boom bang Insta Love! Lol! I mean it’s cool if anyone likes to read or write that as some famous authors have presented it that way but I often wonder why the characters love each other. What I get makes me feel I missed something but I apparently didn’t, it just was never there or I didn’t catch it.

There are some stories where I read the book and watch the movie and at the end of both I had no clue why the two clueless main characters loved each other, beyond they were two hot people who saw each other and they were ready to battle monsters, parents disapproval, other conflicts to finally be in each others arms for all eternity, or until they undoubtedly die.

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I literally read a story once where all the character could do was be in love when a naked boy wound up on her stoop, sounds more like hormones kicked in, she nursed him back to health and had to find a way to save him from transforming into a monster. By the time they were sexually intimate (well more like a fad to black scene where you basically are told they had sex the next day) I was completely lost as to why they were in love and becoming intimate, they were dry emotionless figures to me. They were silhouettes of characters that I wish had given me more and in essence became full blown colorful all encompassing figures.

Another time I watched a movie based off of a book (I never read the book) and I couldn’t figure out how the human female character became the alien male characters one true only love. They were attracted and talked a few times but it seriously could have been left out of the story and it wouldn’t have mattered. It felt thrown in for the sake of having someone the good alien male could save when the bad aliens showed up. He seemed weak at first and then finally had something worth saving, no forethought it seemed to his own neck on the line as he was the true target, and so he rose above it and with the help of another good alien woman they defeated the bad aliens. Love prevailed and the good alien boy said he would return for the human female character once he went off to find the other good aliens like him and defeated the other bad aliens. He said he finally had something worth returning for. I was like why? She was ok but not OMG you have got to come back kind of thing. There wasn’t much to their relationship to make me think ok I get it and swoon.

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So I guess my conflict is what is the point of a love story or any love element within another story if I get no back story or progressing story as to why the characters love each other. So I guess I would like Insta Love more if I was given more later in the story but if I’m not given more then I say Insta Don’t! I am sure I sound like I am being overly critical and probably annoying but I thought what the heck I might as well put this into one of my Musings of a Lonely Writer segment posts and see how others may feel about this subject.  

Care to weigh in? Then please leave a comment in the comment section of this post!

Happy Writing! Happy Reading!

And Happy Insta Love or maybe Insta Don’t! Your choice, LOL! ;~)

Edit April 20, 2016:

Another blogger had mentioned on another post about Romeo and Juliet some time ago and I have now come back to edit this post as I had totally forgotten about Romeo and Juliet. They are an infamous example of Insta Love and as the other blogger mentioned had they have gotten to know each other who is to say they wouldn’t have come to hate each other. But Romeo and Juliet is an infamous couple that no matter how illogical the Insta Love is they are a couple many a girl has wanted to duplicate in her relationship, example when someone says so have you found your Romeo yet.

I mean I have always loved William Shakespeare’s Works Romeo and Juliet among them. I do think it is a story of Insta Love but showing the tragedy of so many misunderstands that can occur not just because of a feud in my opinion but by being consumed by Insta Love which is more like Insta Lust, and not stopping to really think it through properly but that happens a lot in novels, plays and unfortunately real life. But it's true in any love people hardly think clearly as it is, lol!

 

But I often want to think about what would have happened if their families had gotten over their feud and Romeo and Juliet could be together openly, would the story have been so much different or would they really have loved each other for all time and till death or would they have hated each other and regretted their youthful misadventure in Insta Love?

Musings of a Lonely Writer! ----- Beginning, Middle, or End of a Characters Journey

On this Musings of a Lonely Writer segment I may morph a bit into a Musings of a Lonely Reader so bear with me!

In books or even movies I always tend to love the beginning of a journey so much better than the middle and end. I think the beginning is much more exciting and fun. The end is sad and final. I don’t know if it is the sadness of the ending of a journey I hate or that it isn’t as good at the end as the beginning.

The weird part is that in the Series and Trilogies that I write I always love the later novels way better than the first, not always but sometimes. I think that is so weird. However, I find other authors first books to be better than later novels but like I said in mine I almost always feel I like later novels better.

I think there is such unknown and beauty in the beginning but by the end nothing will ever be the same again for the character and that is often times sad. I think that is why I prefer the beginning of most novels or movies. I have however not determined why I prefer my later novels in a series or trilogy to the first book.

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The beginning book is like the moments leading up to a first kiss, the anticipation kills you leading up to the kiss. The middle book is the kiss itself, sweet but often intense and worth the wait. The end book is the end of a kiss, breathless and leaving you wanting more. But that end makes you feel that it will never be like that first anticipation, that first rush and the intenseness that follows.

**

So maybe in a way I appreciate all parts of the books/movies but I tend to still prefer the beginning journey of a character as I still want to feel that excitement building for the character but don’t want it to end as I want to stay in the world the author or movie maker has built.

Whether you prefer the beginning, middle or end I think if the author can make you want to stay forever in someway I think that has the makings of a classic or at least a favorite on many people’s lists. I have yet to truly find a series or trilogy that really makes me want to stay in it and so as a lonely reader and lonely writer I continue to look to find a book that fills that need for me or else I try and write one!

"There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part, so just give me a happy middle. And a very happy start." - Shel Silverstein

“Journey’s end

In western lands beneath the Sun
The flowers may rise in Spring,
The trees may bud, the waters run,
The merry finches sing.
Or there maybe 'tis cloudless night,
And swaying branches bear
The Elven-stars as jewels white
Amid their branching hair.

Though here at journey's end I lie
In darkness buried deep,
Beyond all towers strong and high,
Beyond all mountains steep,
Above all shadows rides the Sun
And Stars for ever dwell:
I will not say the Day is done,
Nor bid the Stars farewell.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien

 

So this has been Musings of a Lonely Writer and if you would like to share what part of a characters journey you tend to like and why then leave me a comment as I would love to get others points of views about this topic. Until next time, Keep Reading! Keep Writing! And Keep Inspiring!

And build me a literary world I want to get lost in and want to explore and never want to leave. Make me love the end just as I love the beginning. Well at least try as I am hard to please as you can see, lol!

Musings of a Lonely Writer! ----- Minimalist Intimate Scenes Between Characters Mortify Me

So I don’t read romances, well not hard core Bodice Rippers or Erotica. I read Suspenseful Romances like from authors Victoria Holt, Phyllis A. Whitney, and some by Dorothy Eden. I prefer a little light romance, nothing explicitly sexual.

These explicitly sexual kinds of novels make me squirm and I find them not to my taste. I don’t care if people read these kinds of stories if that’s what they like to read but I don’t find them appropriate and so I don’t read them nor do I write them.

So in my writing love stories are always subplots and as fun as they are to develop I cringe at the thought of people I know reading them, lol! I know it sounds silly but I fear either I went too far or not enough. I’m afraid they’ll be like what is going on with you for writing these scenes. The scenes aren’t explicit, just what may be deemed adolescent kissing, well maybe a bit more passionate but nothing too hot and heavy.

I even wanted to put an example here of a scene but I am beyond nervous that many I know will see it. I know when I self-publish they’ll read it but I am just mortified to imagine there’re reactions.

There was one scene I was writing how this guy was falling for a lady and what it felt like with her in his arms when he carried her to her room as she had twisted her ankle and when my mom read it I nearly freaked out. The intense description of his feelings was a bit too much; I wound up revising it by choice.

Other times I fear my writing of minimalist intimate scenes are juvenile like. So most of the time I worry how it will be perceived by a broad group of people versus my own feelings toward it.

There was one section of one of my novels I sent to a friend. In the scene there is one area where it is where a guy was rubbing a healing lotion on a woman’s back and I was freaking out when I knew I had sent that section. Of course my friend came back and said she liked the whole section I had sent. So I was beyond happy but I dared not ask what she thought about that particular scene. I fear I am over thinking it and freaking myself out, lol!

Even though these scenes are scarce I wonder if I do too much in a scene or too little. I wonder if people will think if too much in a scene I’m not sticking clean and Christian or if not enough in a scene I risk the scene falling flat and boring.

Of course I love a good swoon worthy intimate scene if placed right and is meant to be there, so I don’t see changing my writing in that regard and will just have to get used to others reactions to the scenes. I will never go too far though with characters in these scenes because of the age group I tend to gear my novels toward and even though I know those age groups know much more about intense intimate relationships than some think I prefer to stay light for my own sake, lol. I should mention though that I know how to take criticism, I am just so unsure on these particular scenes more than any other aspect of my writing.

I suppose some writers have similar areas in their novels where they are uncomfortable with others reading it, so I guess I am not alone in that aspect. And I suppose many writers have times where they start to down their own writing.

I was mentioning this with my writer friend Kendra and she was saying don't worry how others view my novels, just write what I am comfortable with and feel I like. I am trying to do just that but it's a tad difficult with some parts of my writing.

So if others have felt a bit uncomfortable or straight up mortified by minimalist intimate scenes between their characters leave a comment. Or perhaps if you feel certain stories or scenes you write you worry about how it will be perceived by friends and family let me know as well. I would love to hear of other writers experiences with this topic.

So this has been Musings of a Lonely Writer and until next time Keep Reading, Keep Writing, and Keep Inspiring!

Musings of a Lonely Writer! ----- My Characters Love Lives are Better than Mine

So this time in my Musings of a Lonely Writer segment I will be writing about my characters having way better love lives than I, I know I am probably going to regret admitting this, lol!

Okay so I write primarily Young Adult Novels and what is a Young Adult Novel without even just a hint of romance, even just a teeny tiny love sub-plot works. Romances are sub-plots in all my novels as the adventure, the goal of the characters or the dangerous intrigue are the main-plots.

So when I write about my characters often times a romantic element will pop up for said character, which some of those scenes are fun to write but often leave me mortified as I want no one I know to read them, lol, but I will leave this to my next Musings of a Lonely Writer segment entitled, Musings of a Lonely Writer! ----- Minimalist Intimate Scenes Between Characters Mortify Me.

Any how so some of my favorite characters have had some amazing romances, I mean the kind to make you swoon, even if a bit unrealistic, cause who wants a totally realistic relationship in fiction all the time. I love a far too perfect relationship than the ones that make it so real I hate the characters for it, lol, as you can see I am not only complicated but picky about what I like in a novel relationship.

Now we get to the real nitty-gritty center of things. So I have had some amazing characters fall in love and though I do throw in some troubles I tend to keep them perfectly in love and so maybe that has made me dysfunctional in my thoughts of real relationships and love.

As part of my religion we don’t date until we are ready for marriage. I always thought I would marry young and have kids young. As time went by I didn’t find a man I wanted to date, I’ve been asked out but I was young and wasn’t looking for anything serious and the guys were not of my religion so I said no. So I will admit I have never been on a date and I am 27 years old.

Now my thoughts and views have changed on real relationships and I am not sure I want one but at times I do, so way complicated I know, lol. I know if I get in a relationship the guy will be nothing like my male heroes in my novels and it sort of freaks me out. I mean I know guys in real life are real, not fictional so I know they will have faults, foibles, issues of all kinds but I mean who wouldn’t want to have a guy be like the kind of guy in a novel!

My characters seem to not only be more out going they are better in the way they live, love, raise families, ect. It’s a bit infuriating but then again I do write about them so maybe I give them everything I don’t have. In some ways I don’t want what they have but in other ways I kind of do. I feel right now that I can’t handle dating a guy that is liable to be so real I can’t stand it, lol.

Plus no guy I know even makes me want to think of dating them and I gather they feel the same about me because it’s been ages since I was last asked out. I started to even question if something was wrong with my looks, personality ect. But who needs those worries in their life so I quickly put it out of my head, well maybe not completely, lol!

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So anyway I thought I would share a bit about my Favorite Couple-

Princess Jadzia Elizabeth Van ton and Jedrek. These two are two of my youngest couples and they are in, “The Green Haven Series”. They I call my Romeo and Juliet couple without all the dying.

Though I have had many wonderful couples in my novels Jadzia and Jedrek take the top spot because of the time and way their relationship blooms. It is a tumultuous time where the kingdom they reside in is on the brink or war. Jadzia is a Princess of a race that Jedrek’s race hates with a passion.

So when Jadzia and Jedrek’s races try to band together it is a very tricky and dangerous thing. Jadzia is young and helps Jedrek who feels older than his young age to finally be able to be young and enjoy his youth. It starts as a friendship and then progresses to more.

Jadzia and Jedrek made me laugh and cry and feel as if I were really along with them on the dangerous trip as Star Crossed Lovers who get a better ending than the couple they copy, Romeo and Juliet. Jadzia and Jedrek get a seemingly content happily ever after.

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I used to be a hopeless romantic *see definition below* but I’ve seen so many friends and family members relationships end so badly it makes me realize how real and hurtful it can be. Maybe that has damaged me or my view of relationships and love. They tell me don’t let what happened to them stop me but in a way it does because I don’t trust easily and I would hate to put trust where it doesn’t belong or with someone who shatters my trust in them. So maybe that is why my characters relationships are so good even when they lean a bit toward realistic, because I don’t want my characters to suffer bad romances.

Maybe I am just so confused about what I want and don’t want for myself but know fully what I want and don’t want for my characters because with them its not real so no damage done but in real life damage can be done.

** Here is the best definition of a Hopeless Romantic: This person is in love with love. They believe in fairy tales and love. They're not to be confused as stalkers or creepy because that's not what a hopeless romantic is. All hopeless romantics are idealists, the sentimental dreamers, the imaginative and the fanciful when you get to know them. They often live with rose colored glasses on. They make love look like an art form with all the romantic things they do for their special someone.

My View Years Ago about being a Hopeless Romantic is: I liked to believe and hear love stories, I loved to see people in love. I believed in fairy tales and hoped some day to have a love story of my own to tell. I hoped, I dreamed and I thought being a writer and avid reader led to me being more of a Hopeless Romantic.

My Views now: I still tend to believe in fairy tales and true love as I know these kinds of relationships are a gift from Jehovah God and should be viewed as a gift. I have just never really seen or experienced the kind of love that would make me view myself any longer as a Hopeless Romantic.

I don’t have rose colored glasses on, I view things the way they are and sometimes that takes a toll on my stories. When I was younger the sweet sentimental love played out in my novels and now my stories tend to go darker in all aspects and the love is portrayed differently now. I often times wish I could see the world and relationships as I did when I was 17 verses 27, and that I could bring that to my stories again. **

Maybe these quotes which I love can have more meaning for me and others.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. -- Oscar Wilde *Maybe for now being okay and loving myself and what I have should be where I start before I look for another to love me and for me to love them.*

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined. - Henry David Thoreau *Maybe I don’t want romance yet because there are still things or dreams  I want to accomplish on my own before I start a journey with another person. Things change and so maybe what I always imagined having changed when I didn’t realize it. Maybe what the future holds will be better then what I imagined at first.*

So maybe for now I am slightly alright flying solo until I find some who makes me see reality is better than fiction. A guy who makes me see how great real can be and who could make my male heroes feel like they can’t hold a candle to him, lol! Someone to start a journey with that will far outshine any journey my characters have taken.

Or maybe I find out a solo journey through life is all I will get and I should make the best of it. Maybe exploring the world alone and embracing singleness is what I am to do. I will just have to see where this life leads me. Being 27 years old is not the end. I have many wonderful years ahead of me, and hopefully many wonderful stories, characters, and characters journeys.

This has been Musings of a Lonely Writer and until next time if you feel as I do about feeling your characters have better love lives than you drop me a comment in the comment section of this post, or if you simply have anything to say leave a comment and I would be glad to read it. Remember to Keep Reading, Keep Writing, Keep Inspiring, and above all Love Yourself no matter your relationship status, love yourself the way you are now and don’t feel bad if your characters have way better love lives, or at least come to accept it as I have, lol!

Musings of a Lonely Writer! ----- Living Vicariously Through My Characters

I’ve wanted to write a section like this for a while but have put it off, until now!

So today I am going to talk about living vicariously through my characters. I admit as sad as it is that I do tend to live vicariously through my characters in many ways. They are everything that I am not. They tend to be extroverts, vocal, strong, sassy, bold, say it as it is kind of characters. They have many flaws but for the most part they are exciting, adventurous, fun people. I’ve seen the dangers though of living through a character full time so I obviously know the line between reality and my characters lives (I call- characteralities) but I always think theirs lives are so much more fun.

I am the total opposite of them. I am an introvert and people tend to call me shy. Sometimes I don’t like to talk and other times I do. I will talk a lot to people I know well but they also know sometimes I just want to listen but not put much into the conversation. Sometimes around people in large group settings I like to just be ignored, be a viewer but not a participator, but then I am sad when I am ignored, I know crazy right, lol!

I hate social situations, don’t get me wrong I have friends and always have but I hate social situations such as parties. At parties I don’t spend all my time with my friends, I usually wind up sitting alone bored out of my mind and just wanting to go home.

Also I am way better at talking to people online. I can put myself out there a bit more because I am not in front of them. When I am talking to people face to face I get nervous, my face reddens, I get sweaty a bit and am at a loss for what to say but afterwards I think of a ton of things I should have said and want to kick myself for not saying it and being more open and sassy as my comments I think of afterwards would be just as sassy as some of my characters can be.

I didn’t start this post out to make it sound depressing! I just want to make a point that as a writer we often tend to be lonesome people because writing is usually a lonesome task. I talk to my writer friends about my stories but for the most part it is a solitary endeavor, which often times that solitary part of writing goes into our day to day lives. However the majority of writers are extroverted, talkative people and don’t have the same problems as some writers do.

I think maybe my overactive imagination and writing has been an escape from problems and things going on in my life in the real world. Going into a fantastical setting or just simply somewhere else in a normal setting on earth has been a way to explore other ways to live, through those characters adventures. It has been a hindrance in a way though because I think of my characters and their stories far too much, even in social situations and it leaves me completely unaware when some guy shows an interest in me too, lol! My friends will tell me of some guy that was checking me out or clearly flirting and I am totally at a loss because I didn’t realize it.

I know it is sad but my characters are more real to me than real people sometimes. I know that is probably not healthy but like I’ve said I know where the line is to reality and I don’t live too much in a fantasy world. Though I’ll admit I love to daydream and regular dream about my characters sometimes. In my dreams I am my characters and I love it.

I don’t think it is all that bad to live a little in a characters shoes as long as you come back to reality in the end, lol!

 I think it would be fun too when ordering coffee or drinks or something to give a characters name instead of yours or introduce yourself to a total stranger you won’t ever meet again and give them your characters name, though if you do meet again and tell them the truth they may think your crazy or a liar. Then again it may be the start to a fun new friendship, who knows and I am not responsible for any outcome should you do so, lol! Though I will say never pretend to be a character when the stakes are high and you have to tell the truth, don’t pretend then!

 I often think too it would be fun for one day to dress, talk, and act like one of my characters as a sort of experiment into how others view me and how I feel afterwards about that character. Though I’m afraid I will end up viewed as crazy or eccentric, I have been called eccentric before. I wonder if pretending to be one of my characters would give me the courage to be bolder when I am just me, hmm, I might try it and I will definitely fill you all in about it and may show a few pictures of what I will look like as one of my character, lol! :~)

I am hoping what I have written maybe helps others who feel similar in even a small way. I hope what I wrote makes since as I was kind of all over the place, lol. I hope too that I don’t regret writing this but I try not to regret any posts I blog about.

If anyone has any similar experiences with living vicariously through your characters or have times where you are lonely and think it is because of being a writer or an introvert or simply want to just tell me anything leave a comment in the comment section of this post. I would love to hear from anyone!

This has been Musings of a Lonely Writer and until next time I send my best regards and say Keep Writing, Keep Inspiring and don’t forget I don’t think it’s all that bad to live in your characters shoes for just a little while as long as you come back to reality in the end, lol!

Edit: June 14, 2015

 

I think in a way that readers get to explore and sometimes get drawn into and live vicariously through a fictitious character as well but they have the advantage of talking to others about the wonderful or scary or fun or adventurous characters they read about. Since writers are privy to worlds, realities and characters that others haven’t gotten to really explore yet is what also makes us writers feel different, lonely, and often a little odd for living in that reality too much. Others don’t want to hear often about characters that the rest of the world hasn’t gotten to read about yet. 

But being privy to worlds others haven’t explored yet is what I think makes writers lives even more special. We get more than a readers glimpse into these characters realities. They tell us their tale and we tell others what they have to say. I know they are not real but when I tell others about them I often say they tell me their story and I get a weird reaction but I laugh because it does feel as if the characters are letting me tell others about them. I don’t think that is unhealthy because doing it that way allows us to go at a story in a unique way.